April 18th

So the day has come.

For the first time this year, I am going out.

I’m not going out as in to town and getting wasted but I’m going out for a couple of drinks.

I was the one who frigging organized it too which is shit, I deffinatly can’t back out of something that I decided to do.

Last week when I was feeling optimistic I text my friend asking did she want to go out tonight and she said yes. I’ve been fine about it all week and not been bothered about it at all – until tonight.

So I rang her on the way home from work today and everything was awesome until I got home and had a lie down.

Now I feel exhausted and have become so disheartened by having to go out and socialize it’s ridiculous.

I know that when I do go out I’ll have a good time and it’ll be fine and I wont regret going out but it’s just the fact of having to go out.

I wrote a post about how I’ve been feeling quite down recently and how I’ve been quite withdrawn and secluded to my house and bedroom.

I’ve experienced this quite a few times in my life and I know that after going out and joining in with things that I start to feel better but I just can’t be bothered.

I do think one of the main reasons for being so against going out tonight is mostly because I have to have a shower and get changed because of how disgusting I feel after todays training.


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