August 27th

So today at work I felt in a really weird mood. The lad who ‘stood me up’ bloody told one of the girls we work with! He just came out and told her that he stood me up. Why the hell would he tell someone that he stood me up? Is he an absolute dick?! Definitely do not like him at all. She had the cheek to say to me “well maybe its best you don’t start something because you’re going to Oz”. He fucking invited me! He made the bloody plans! ARSE.

I also found out today, that my best friend has been written a sick note from the doctors for two weeks off work because of stress and anxiety. He says he’s okay but I know this is a lie. I care so much about him that I just don’t really know what to do. I don’t want to leave him at this time. I feel like he needs me but I cant be there for him. This feeling is one of the worst feelings ever.

I also have serious issues at the minute about me and James. I love him loads but I don’t feel like he’s there for me. I haven’t seen him for about four weeks. The last time I saw him was when I was at Alton towers with him and his friends and before that was when I told him I wanted to break up.

When I think about it, I get really sad that I love him but I don’t fee loved at all. I feel like I’m single but have the rubbish feelings of a rubbish relationship. I just wish he tried and he made an effort.

I really dislike boys at the minute. I’m having major issues.


On a higher note, I saw my university friends today after work. We went to Bury for some food and a quick shop around the Rock. It was really good seeing them and being able to say goodbye properly. I’m really going to miss them loads.

Oh no! I have 9 days left. I am going to cry a ridiculous amount.

God help me when I have to say goodbye to my family.


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