Making friends

Whilst you’re growing up you make friends.

Primary school friends, high school friends, college friends, university friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, family friends, parents friends, work friends, hobby friends, old friends, young friends.

Some may be in your life for a small amount of time, but some are with you for the long haul.

I have a variety of groups of friends back home in the UK and growing up I never really ever had an issue with making friends. It was easy. You like them, they like you, you find each other interesting and hit it off.

Since moving to Melbourne just under a year ago, I feel like my life has taken a turn completely.

I find it difficult to make friends. I’m quite and easy going person, I love shopping and talking and going out places. I love interacting with people and would say I was quite a social person.

But I’ve noticed, I’ve turned into a bit of an isolate person. I find that I enjoy my own company a lot. I like doing things on my own. I don’t know whether this is true or if I’ve been forced to by my living situation.

Now I know how normal it is to want to spend time with yourself with no one around. But as a professional working in mental health, I also know it’s not a good thing either.

So my question is, how the heck do you make friends in a completely different country?

I’ve tried going to the gym, I’ve tried being nicer at work and have made a effort with colleagues. But I feel like at this age, you’re allowed to pick who you want to spend time with.

Maybe I’m just too selective and fussy.

But I know the type of friends I want. The ones I have back home.

There must be people who are like them in Melbourne. Not everyone can be as non desirable as some of my colleagues or the people at the gym.

I don’t want to be a loner.

I want to go shopping with other girls. I want to go for food with people other than Dave – he’s awesome but it’s nice to have a change.

I pluck up the courage to talk to my mum about it and she tells me to go out and meet people. Where?

I don’t want to go out on my own and start chatting up people for a friendship. I don’t want to be that weirdo who people hope you don’t approach them.

So if any nice 20 odd year olds in Melbourne see this, give me some tips and pointers. How do you find nice friends in is beautiful city?

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6 thoughts on “Making friends

  1. isadoramaria says:

    You are not the only one! I just recently moved from my home in Vancouver, BC to a small little town 5 hours away. Although I am not even in a different country I find it very difficult to make friends. I also have tried going to the gym or the mall or wherever. But no luck so far. If you have any other ideas let me know!

  2. alifeontheflipside says:

    I’m a lot older than you but had the same problem when I moved from England to Perth, and then to Melbourne. My primary tactic was to say yes to every invitation, backed up by signing up for things I was interested in. Try meetup.com – there are lots of social groups for women in their 20s. You never know who you might meet. And be patient! With a bit of effort it will all be fine before you know it.

  3. sugarcoated91 says:

    This post made me giggle. It’s exactly how I feel but I moved to the UK instead (originally from Portugal). I have met a lot of people but simply did not turn into a friendship. I have no idea where to start. I have tried meetup (as someone pointed out). You go out, chat a bit but it is hard to truly connect with someone when you have a pre-conceived idea of who you want to be friends with. I am also trying to embrace the idea of going out like your mum suggested to you but I fear going alone and be that weirdo you mentioned too. It is a vicious cycle really: you can’t meet people being indoors and you struggle to go out alone. Ah… If you were by any chance from London, any pointers?

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